she said she wanted to die, but he didn’t believe her.

each time she said it, she had actually meant it. it didn’t seem that way to him, though.

“if you wanted to die, then why haven’t you done something about it yet?”

how was she supposed to tell him? she killed herself bit by bit with each passing day.

she ate less as a form of self-punishment for her mistakes. she slept less because she knew that her inner demons would come out to dance on her body as soon as she drifted off. she smiled less because such a pretty gesture did not deserve to be seen on such an ugly person.

an ugly person with an ugly personality. that’s what she was.

she killed herself slowly, so nobody would notice. nobody would see. she killed herself slowly in hopes that one day, she’d just drop dead and nobody would have seen it coming to stop her.

she killed herself a thousand times, but only in her head. after all, nobody would want to see the hollow vessel of someone they were once acquainted with lying around. oh no, she’s ruined people’s days enough in her lifetime as it is.

my darling, just because one exists does not mean one lives.